You can have it all and achieve anything!
Well, maybe not all at once …
In fact, we live in a spoiled society whose mechanisms can easily make us believe that it is totally easy to have and achieve all I want:
With one click, ordered today, delivered tomorrow.
On Instagram, I see before/after pictures of people who have documented their “body transformation,” while for others there are no before-pictures at all – just the perfect self-presentation.
We look at famous people in politics, business, sports and see it everywhere: success is possible.
Motivated, we set ourselves goals, get going and do our best until the first resistance arises, success doesn’t come so quickly or we realize that in fact not everything is possible.
What is often neglected in all the euphoric success stories is the stony path to get there – and the proven skills that are needed to walk this stony path: Perseverance, Impulse Control, and Need Deferral.
That is, to keep going even when things aren’t going so well and to forgo things (the urge to fullfill needs) now because I know that saying no now will enable me to achieve the reward that success will bring along.
If I want my sports activities to bear fruit, I should refrain from “treating” myself to a big meal as a reward.
If I want to be the first on the ski slope in the morning, I have to give up sleeping in.
If I want to successfully run a marathon in a healthy condition, I have to give up various foods – and probably also some meetings and parties with friends, because the training schedule does not allow it.
If I want a certain job, I will certainly have to take jobs along the way that I don’t think are so great – but that bring me closer to my dream job because of the contacts or skills they hold.
If I want more freedom, I will have to sacrifice security.
If I want to gain an additional qualification, I will have to give up free time for a while in favor of learning.
Sometimes, by the way, it is also necessary to give up cherished convictions (“I am not a morning person”) or habits (alcohol at the end of the day) or feelings (e.g. inadequacy).
If you are not willing to give up something on the way to your goal, then that something is more important to you than your goal.
And if you REALLY want something, you can tell by the fact that you can easily endure the deprivations (and reactions of others to them) – because you know what for.
Of course, you can also refrain from refraining – but then be strong and please also refrain from complaining about the fact that success does not show up 😉
In psychology, this is called the ability of doing a “reality check” and “self-actualization” – the competence to accept the consequences of one’s own actions – and to adjust one’s actions if necessary.
Success needs congruence of thoughts, attitude and action – and the ability to renounce.
So the next time you set a committed goal, don’t forget to do a reality check:
What hardships will you have to put up with along the way, and – are you ready for them?
If you can answer the latter with a clear YES, then go for it!
Good luck & Take Care!