“Are you always in a good mood?” a friend asked me the other day when she wasn’t feeling so well. Anyone who has lived with me or spent more time with me, for example on holiday, knows the answer to this question. For the rest of you, I’ll tell you now: NO.
I too reach my limits and sometimes have days when I console myself shortly after getting up with the fact that they will pass. I don’t know where the bad mood on such days comes from – probably not from stupid thoughts, because it’s already there before I think the first thought of the day 😉
When I’m continuously offering all kinds of tips on the subject of balance and happiness
and when I’m on my “mission” to help other people achieve more well-being and happiness, you might get the impression that I’m unshakably positive.
Yes, I want to support you in bringing your thoughts, feelings and body into a healthy balance in order to live healthily, self-determinedly and contentedly.
But let there be no misunderstandings: it is normal and human that this is not always and without exception possible!
Pressure to perform and perfectionism are bad companions on your journey to happiness and joy.
Perhaps I have a small advantage because these topics run through my brain every single day and so they are always present. And everything I write about I have also tried out on myself, so to speak. I call this the “tutoring effect”. When we explain something we learn ourselves to someone else, what we learn sinks in far better. And so I still hope that one day it will all become second nature to me.
But until then, whenever I get stuck, I am open to listen to my favourite comment of good friends, which is:
“Just read some of your blog articles again” 😉
But seriously. Everyone has bad days. Normal.
But how we deal with them determines whether we get through them well (and sometimes the mood might turn around already in the course of the day) or whether they go into overtime.
So here are my 3 rules and 5 tips to get through a bad day well (effectiveness proven in self-experiment):
3 rules for a bad day
- You do NOT always have to be in a good mood.
- It is ok to be sad, angry, disappointed, melancholic, exhausted etc. In our world driven by perfectionism, or at least perfect external presentation, this is not mentioned often – but these feelings also belong to you – and to every other human being on this planet.
- It will pass. Feelings and moods are like weather conditions. They pass. And sometimes the clouds are not as thick or as persistent as they seemed in first place.
5 tips for bad days
- Say hello to your “weather condition” and greet it by name. Imagine this (unwanted) feeling like an (uninvited) party guest who is at the door and wants to join the party. And you reject this guest without even looking at him or knowing his name. Either he leaves – but comes back later with reinforcements or he runs riot in front of your door the whole time and spoils the whole party. Pressure creates counter-pressure. So, open the door, welcome him and give him a seat.
- Listen to what your guest has to say – but don’t get involved in the drama. A beer is ok – then thank your feeling for what it wanted to tell you (e.g. that you should take care of yourself and overdid it last week, or what need you should take care of more …). And then take care of the other party guests and ….
- Do one thing that gives you a sense of achievement – finish something you have been putting off for a long time, complete a module in a training course, exercise, do something around the house … – and afterwards be aware of your success. Maybe you also reward yourself with something, e.g.
- Do one thing that brings you joy – call a dear friend, buy flowers, do handicrafts, pet your pet …
- Do one thing that is good for your body – cook something healthy and tasty, go for a long walk, make sure you drink enough, have a relaxation or meditation session …
Even if one thing you do falls into several categories, make sure you do three things that contribute to joy and well-being and let you experience self-efficacy.
Be kind to your “special party guest” and then take care of yourself.
That’s what he usually wants to tell you 🙂
Be good to yourself!